Stephen Colbert bitchslaps Bush and makes him LIKE it

to his face, while Bush is sitting 10 feet away! Or fake it, no that's not correct either...this is the most amazing and priceless video I have ever watched. It involves Corbert of Comedy Central's Colbert Report at the White House Correspondent Association's annual dinner getting in zinger after zinger about corruption, retired Generals' criticisms, the White House press corps' spineslessness, and every important issue of the day. Only he's not throwing out zingers so much as he's pitching deadly perfect curveballs.

People in the audience were so shocked that some had to cover their slack-jawed mouths. They could not believe the hard-hitting truth that Colbert was ladling out.

Let's review why his speech was so shocking and amazingly beautiful - the WHCA dinner is normally a very upscale, black tie social affair where the VIPs of corporate media go to hobnob. It's held at the Capitol Hilton which is a posh space just 2 blocks away from the White House lawn. It's a very genteel insider's event and Bush and his wife routinely come and are feted, plus the Association gives out awards to their own. While it's expected that some jolly good natured roasting goes on, it is NOT the place for hardhitting sociopolitical commentary with a wicked wicked crack of the whip.

The entire atmosphere there was uneasy, as the press knew that Colbert was shitting on them at their gala, professing his disdain for them, and they had INVITED him there. Also key: he makes rude gestures at Scalia, parodying the angry justice, and Scalia has a rollicking good time. So does Joe Wilson and *gasp* Valerie Plame!

Every which way Colbert spoke, he was skewering someone in that room with his razorsharp wit - corporate media, the media whore lackeys, the current Generals, President Bush, Tony "Snow Job", oh bless me I have died and gone to heaven. Colbert got everything in, and all these VIPs were forced to listen, the beauty and the ecstasy of it all. I wish I had been present, but you can watch it here.

Choice quotes:

UPDATE: Sorry, I fell asleep while blogging in my bed last night, that's never happened before. Anyway, here's the transcript of Colbert banging away at Bush. But you should really watch it, it's THAT good.

Colbert addressing the press:

"But the rest of you, what are you thinking, reporting on NSA wiretapping or secret prisons in eastern Europe? Those things are secret for a very important reason: they're super-depressing. And if that's your goal, well, misery accomplished. Over the last five years you people were so good -- over tax cuts, WMD intelligence, the effect of global warming. We Americans didn't want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. Those were good times, as far as we knew.

But, listen, let's review the rules. Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put 'em through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know - fiction!"

Way to speak truth to hard-headed power. Now back to your regularly scheduled pablum, courtesy of Disney-NBC-Coca-Cola-FOX-Starbucks-WalMart-Sears-
AmericaOnline-Chevy-Amoco-Buick.