Obama v Colbert

Recent upsurge in traffic, which is pretty cool. I have several House-side visitors, even the Department of Justice.

Never when I launched my lil ole blog did I think I would get so many hits.

This election has been better than the Craigslist bump, and no, I don't mean "baby." Btw, Craig Newmark [Ed: edited from Venter, my mistake] is an Obama supporter, not a Colbert supporter, but I will forgive him for that. Not everyone has the ability to dream big.

And with that I present to you my comparison list of Obama v Colbert, just one in my ongoing lists of candidates' strengths and weaknesses.

This list is urgent, as voters in South Carolina go to make up their minds at the polls. Folks, it's never too late to support a winning candidate on these crucial issues that matter to the American people, especially in an ill-planned WRITE IN CAMPAIGN.

1)LOOKS - public's top concern, and what we vote for
Obama has an easy smile and a tall lanky frame. His skin is mocha colored. He has no hair and his ears are rather large for his face.

Colbert has a wicked smile and mischevious eyes. He does not see skin color. Colbert has a fine modern pompadour and one of his ears sticks closely to his face.

Decision: TIE

2) STYLE - consider it a subsidiary of Looks
Obama rocks the suit and open button down at the collar. A crisp yet relaxed image, with suits that gracefully drape his body

Colbert has extremely well fitted suits as well, including a smashing pinstripe number. But he always buttons his shirt and wears a slim fitting tie. Come on, how can you trust someone if they aren't wearing a tie?!?

Decision: Colbert

3) CHARISMA - this is how you get away with telling the American people that you're "the decider"; infalliable for selling stupid ideas like war with Iran
Obama is frequently described as a "rock star" and draws huge crowds. His 10,000 megawatt Democratic National Convention speech on behalf of Kerry blazed a trail all the way for him to make his own presidential run. Has throngs of adoring fans.

Colbert is often described as "a takeoff on Bill O'Reilly." He draws crowds and has throngs of adoring fans. His stage persona is so charismatic that he got Justice Scalia to laugh riotously at Colbert mocking him during the White House Correspondents Association dinner. How very meta.

Decision: Close call, but Obama. Obama's charisma is cooler, so maybe it's blue. And Colbert's charisma is warmer, so it's red. So this is a purple tie, not unlike one that Obama would wear to appeal to those purple states.

4) ORATORY
Obama launched his US Senate, then presidential campaign on the strength of one speech alone. Who else can top that?

Colbert launched the smartest, most incisive diatribe against the complicity of the DC press corps at the WHCA dinner that I have ever seen. Better than anything I could have dreamed of, toppled the egos of giants who only wish they had his speaking ability. Plus he manages to stay in character nearly ALL THE TIME. On TV. Do you know how hard that is?

Decision: Obama, because he has to stay in character all the time.

5) FEAR FACTOR
Obama is unafraid. So unafraid that he dares to be hopeful. Talk about a gloom-killer.

Colbert is afraid of bears. Like Papa Bear Bill O'Reilly, and polar and brown. (I wonder if he's also afraid of the Turkleton? I;d be afraid of his wife - she's fierce!)



Decision: Obama

Hmm, it appears that Obama would win 3-1-0. Nonetheless I'm sticking with my guy. Because my gut tells me so. And I always listen to my gut, as it is prodigiously larger than my brain. So right on, WRITE IN!